Sometimes we try to escape the every challenge life has given us.
Like how, every time we've got a problem, instead of thinking how to
resolve it, we're thinking more of how to find a way around it and try
to act as if the problem does not exist. What's the point of the challenges
given by life if we just choose to avoid it in the end instead of facing
it?
I know, in taking the crutches of you away, I can still stand.
It's an overwhelming feeling that life is moving on too fast, so fast that there were so many times I just wanted to linger in the moments, absorb the bliss, and never want them to go away. But time is relentless.
It's an overwhelming feeling that life is moving on too fast, so fast that there were so many times I just wanted to linger in the moments, absorb the bliss, and never want them to go away. But time is relentless.
Like how it chased my pain away, these moments of perfection, they seem to whiz past too.Or is that what happens because we become greedy, and we just want more?
That you know this happiness wouldn't last and you have this compelling urge to want to memorise that picture, the smell, the person, his face and his words, anything, anything that made you so happy. So you could hold on to the bits and recall them again.
And when you try and recall them, nothing feels the same anymore. And you realise that the pieces you tried to hold on to are nothing but fragments of attachments that stop you from moving on.
I have this fear of going back to the same old place. Where reality hits me hard.
Where I had my heart broken too many times. Seeing your same old face. The torn relationship and the brokenness of my own heart.
Your smiling to another girl, and my wallowing in self pity. And I don't want to go back.
I refuse to, like a child who willfully chooses not to keep her toy.
This. Is everything I need. Right here. This life. Now.
And it's all gonna end in a couple of months. And I am sometimes afraid.
I know, in taking the crutches of you away, I can still stand.
I can.
That you know this happiness wouldn't last and you have this compelling urge to want to memorise that picture, the smell, the person, his face and his words, anything, anything that made you so happy. So you could hold on to the bits and recall them again.
And when you try and recall them, nothing feels the same anymore. And you realise that the pieces you tried to hold on to are nothing but fragments of attachments that stop you from moving on.
I have this fear of going back to the same old place. Where reality hits me hard.
Where I had my heart broken too many times. Seeing your same old face. The torn relationship and the brokenness of my own heart.
Your smiling to another girl, and my wallowing in self pity. And I don't want to go back.
I refuse to, like a child who willfully chooses not to keep her toy.
This. Is everything I need. Right here. This life. Now.
And it's all gonna end in a couple of months. And I am sometimes afraid.
I know, in taking the crutches of you away, I can still stand.
I can.
Everything is passing by too fast. It felt like yesterday when I was queuing up to buy my secondary school uniform way back in secondary one. Yet, secondary school is now just another chapter of life that I have left behind me. Ngee Ann Polytechnic has opened another door for me and today was the end of my freshmen orientation camp.
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Even though I had fun and made new friends, I can't help but hope that time can stop, or at least slow down for me. It can get quite depressing when you realised how time flies by so fast, and yet you haven't done much with your life. All you could remember was just sitting there watching your life pass you by.
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Even though I had fun and made new friends, I can't help but hope that time can stop, or at least slow down for me. It can get quite depressing when you realised how time flies by so fast, and yet you haven't done much with your life. All you could remember was just sitting there watching your life pass you by.
Thinking about the future worries me. I don't know where am I heading to. I love being in the spotlight, I love the media, I love writing. But as things start to get competitive, as things start to get serious, I see myself falling. How many people chose to work in this industry and come out alive? That handful. I used to be so sure that I made the right decision, but now even my faith is wavering. I know they say follow your dreams, but what if your dreams are too unrealistic? We all want to be happy at the end of the day. But what truly makes me happy?
They say beauty is but skin deep. But the sad truth
is that when we first see someone, we created an impression on him/her.
And first impression counts. You can be intelligent, diligent,
hardworking and all but if you looked like a mess and go for job
interviews, I highly doubt the chance that you will be given the job.
That is just how the world works.
Why can't I just let this go?
Why can't you see the efforts I've put in, trying to maintain this friendship?
Why can't I be anybody else?
Why do these feelings keep coming back to me?
I've learned to accept that some things are just not meant to be.
I've learned to accept the fact that some people just come and go.
I've come to accept that that nobody will be there for you forever.
I've come to accept all the changes in my life.
You.
You have no idea how much you meant to me.
You have no idea how I looked up to you.
You have no idea how that little action of yours hurt me.
I will find the courage to walk out of this. Someday.
Breaking at the cracks.
And everything goes black.
It's another heart attack.
And I can't handle that.
If everything could just last.
And everything goes black.
It's another heart attack.
And I can't handle that.
If everything could just last.
