The crutches of you.

April 14, 2013

I know, in taking the crutches of you away, I can still stand.

It's an overwhelming feeling that life is moving on too fast, so fast that there were so many times I just wanted to linger in the moments, absorb the bliss, and never want them to go away. But time is relentless. 
Like how it chased my pain away, these moments of perfection, they seem to whiz past too.Or is that what happens because we become greedy, and we just want more?
That you know this happiness wouldn't last and you have this compelling urge to want to memorise that picture, the smell, the person, his face and his words, anything, anything that made you so happy. So you could hold on to the bits and recall them again.

And when you try and recall them, nothing feels the same anymore. And you realise that the pieces you tried to hold on to are nothing but fragments of attachments that stop you from moving on.

I have this fear of going back to the same old place. Where reality hits me hard.
Where I had my heart broken too many times. Seeing your same old face. The torn relationship and the brokenness of my own heart.

Your smiling to another girl, and my wallowing in self pity. And I don't want to go back.
I refuse to, like a child who willfully chooses not to keep her toy.

This. Is everything I need. Right here. This life. Now.
And it's all gonna end in a couple of months. And I am sometimes afraid.
I know, in taking the crutches of you away, I can still stand. 

I can.

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