If you're alone, I hope you know that I'm alone too. So I believe we will be friends.

January 22, 2012

Some things we do know, but always forget:
  • The prisons you've built are of your own design.
  • You should be the person you wanted to be when you woke up this morning.
  • The world desperately wants to love you, if you'll let it.
  • You deserve that love, even if you don't feel like it.
  • Love can hit a planet like a comet.
I hope things are beautiful. And if they're not, then I hope you remember this moment right now when they are. Because you've got to hold up each and every other moment to the moment when things are beautiful and say "Look. I told you. Remember this."

I'm sorry for the wordy posts recently but my posts will stay like this till I get a new camera. You know what? I realized that even after all these years, I never once lost my passion for writing. I can go on and on about anything at all the whole day and not feel tired.

I've been feeling rather deep lately, not my usual hyper crazy self. Maybe it's the realization that O Levels are coming. This is just January and I swear I heard the phrase "O levels" at least 100 times already. I'm so sick of hearing it yet I know I need someone to remind me or I'll never get things done. I've heard of the saying, "examinations are formidable even to the best prepared," but what scares me the most is the fact that I'm still lacking around and not doing ANY homework at all. But, I've been doing my D&T diligently for the past weeks and that alone consoles me.

Other than some hiccups here and there, I'd say that this month has been pretty smooth sailing for me. But there's always this awkward moment. Like a tug on your sleeve. An itch in the throat. An unimaginable escape. And I know this is the truth. If I could stop feeling the way I feel. If the reminders of you didn't remind me of you. If my subconscious thoughts were unconscious. If the curves on you would curve on me. If only, I could switch it off. Switch you off.

No matter how hard I try, it's there. It's always there. I'm always thinking about it, whether I want to or not. And sometimes, I wonder if you still think of me like how I always think of you. I guess I deserve the abandonment, I've only hurt you by feeding off your efforts in trying to make me bring down the walls around me. I admit I had been difficult in the early parts of last year, extremely difficult. Well I had to protect myself, all that happened in 2010 was just too painful... but you wouldn't have known that, would you? By some miracle God led me to Z and I am truly thankful. However I wouldn't have learnt the lessons I've learnt if it wasn't for you. All I wanna say is... I'm still here, as a friend, or acquaintance, whatever. I haven't forgotten you, and I hope you feel the same.

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