'Cause you've burned them out

September 10, 2015

After a while, you give up.

You give up explaining because it takes longer than a lifetime to explain something to someone with the stubbornness of a mule. Why waste your saliva and life? No matter what you say, nothing will go through his thick skulls. To him, he's always right. And when he's wrong, don't expect him to apologise - he never will - he'll find an excuse to twist his words until he's right. Yup, he's right even when he's wrong.

You give up trying because no matter what you do, he'll never see it. You talk to him, you show him through actions, you tell him how you feel. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is how HE feels and what HE thinks is right. He gives you deadlines to meet his requirements, but he doesn't tell you that. Go figure out what he wants yourself.

You give up on 'us' and 'we' because it's so easy for him to do the same. It takes two hands to clap, two people to make things work. At the same time, when things don't work out, it should be both your faults. But not the way he sees it. You're just there to shoulder the blame when things go wrong. One mistake and you're out.

You give up being proud because you can never hold your head up around him. It's easy. He made a mistake, you made a mistake, nobody is mending anything. He doesn't show you off anymore either. People have been questioning if you are still together. Just as well too, you don't have to explain how everything is falling apart.

You give up trying to explain anyway. Day by day, you look more like you're in a delusional relationship when he has already erased every trace of you. His phone's password? You don't even know what is it and you don't care because it's no longer your anniversary date. His wallpapers are no longer your ootd or Hello Kitty. You can try pestering him but he'll only brush you off. He will no longer tweet you cute tweets or post photos of you on his Instagram. You ask him why he doesn't post anything anymore and his perfunctory replies remain the same. "Soon," he will say.

You give up what's most important to you because that's not what he thinks is important. He stops showing appreciation. No thank you, no words of appreciation. Eventually you stop saying those words too. Not because you stopped appreciating, but because countless people, including his friends, told you your problem is you show too much love and you let him know that you love deeply.

You give up telling him how much you love him for the same reason. He doesn't tell you he misses you anymore too. Maybe he does but doesn't say it, or maybe because he simply doesn't miss you anymore. He stopped telling you 'I love you' randomly in the day. He doesn't sweet talk you anymore. He doesn't even call your selfies cute and you don't remember the last time he praised you without you digging for it. He doesn't call you at night and haven't done so for months.

You give up wondering about your future together because there's no 'together' anymore. To be together, he needs 'to-get-her' but he's not trying anymore. You stopped trying too. He doesn't see you in his future - his words, not mine. He can argue that actions speak louder than words, or that he was just kidding. But ask yourself, has he ever included you in any of his future plans?

After a while, you give up.

And that's when the end comes.

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