Get out

March 13, 2016

Do you remember the first time a good friend sold you out? I do. I was 11 and I remember feeling pain from the betrayal. I couldn't believe that someone I loved and cared so much about would do something like that to me. Slowly, as I grew older, I realised that this is life.

Sometimes people just screw you over for the fun of it, for their sick, twisted pleasure. No explanation needed. With that in mind, my circle of friends became smaller and I trusted less people. It was only beneficial to build walls around me and remove all toxic friends immediately.

To you:

You should have realised by now - missed calls, unreturned texts, unanswered tweets. They didn't happen for no reason, I didn't just ignore your attempt to reach out by accident.

You say that I drink and club a lot more now than I ever did in the past and I used to be against that lifestyle, which is true (link and link) but you know what? My views changed; I grew up and my opinions changed. Sure, you say that our lifestyles don't match up anymore but the fact is that I still have a bunch of friends who don't touch alcohol. None of them said I changed. Have you ever wondered why are you the only one feeling this way?

If you are the only one feeling it then it's probably because I didn't change, darling. I lost all respect for you the moment you turned against me. I emphasised so much on how I want to keep this piece of my life private yet you disrespected that. You used my personal life as a piece of gossip then you dared to tell others I've changed and tried to turn them against me. The only thing that changed was how I saw how our friendship was no longer worth me salvaging so I simply stopped trying. I merely saw your true colours - our friendship changed, my perspective of you changed. Not me.

You can't deny that I'm still the responsible person I once was. I never mix my work and personal life and that is a promise I made to myself. When it comes to my personal life, I still love my family and friends all the same. I may have a new circle of friends that I've gotten closer to over the years but they keep me grounded. We drink together but we push each other on when submission weeks are near. I still keep my old friends close to my heart, and I'm still putting in the effort, texting them occasionally to catch up. There's only one reason why I didn't contact you all these while - you're not worth my time.

Work wise, when I was working, I turned up to work early even if I spent my whole night out. I turned in all my projects on time and my superiors have always been satisfied with all my work. I never handed up slipshod work and have never ever allowed the quality of my work to deteriorate, even when I was having horrible weeks, going through my break up and all. I don't see how can you say that drinking changed me. If anything, drinking taught me to be even more responsible. That if I want to spend a night partying, I better make sure I have already finished whatever I need to do. And it's not just at work, my assignments in and out of school speak for themselves as well.

If I have to put it bluntly, I accomplished more than you ever did even when I spent my nights drinking and clubbing. Ask any of our mutual friends or course mates and they can vouch for me. At this point, there's no use pushing the blame anymore - three years is enough to see someone's true colours and most of us saw yours. You are lazy and incompetent; you expect people to finish up your work for you. If I have any last words for you, it'd be good luck when you enter the working world because no one will be there to cover your ass anymore.

At this age I'm less concerned with what others think of me. We don't get along or you sell me out? Bye. I'll cut you off immediately. No questions asked. I'm not even going to bother try mending this anymore because I've been trying for the past year and all you've only ever tested my patience time after time.

I'm tired. I'm letting you go.
Go, get out of my life.

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