Once you find someone you really love try yur hardest not to lose them
Because you will never get over the feeling of loneliness .


Aces day workout was really slack ._. , I didn't even skip once cause I was busy snapping photos ;X . But it was really great to see everyone in their class tees , to see everyone so united .
Guess I kinda dampened the mood for some people during the teachers-students bonding time :( .
Tears stream down yur face when you lose something you cannot replace . I promise , I won't make the same mistake . Deep in my heart , I know we're not meant to be but I just can't let you go . I don't know why . All the bullshits I said about being strong , they're just ... Bullshits . I lost someone special whom I'll never be able to replace .

I believe that , the saddest thing in life is caring so much for someone then one day , you look into their eyes , listen to their heart , and realised that they're long gone . Then , all you see in front of you is just a stranger, with a known name . This morning , I finally let myself believe , finally stopped pretending . I know , you've moved on . All these while , I've been telling myself to have faith that someday , everything will just turn beautiful again . I've always believed in miracles but now even I , myself , am unsure of my own stand .

Thank God I have great friends and a great teacher . They make me believe that maybe it's worth the pain . I'll be stronger . At least I'm not alone . People who genuinely care about me really make my day . And that really cheers me up .

Headed to hall for Greendale's Got Talent after the bonding session . The emcees were seriously amazing . They had everyone high and screaming . Everything was just awesome and so well planned , and I cheered up . I guess I was one of the most hyper in the class at that time . Cheering , shouting , and just being happy . I wish I could feel like this all the time .

After doing the school cheer , Mr Seah talked to me a while . Yingying and Xueying accompanied me back to Edgefield after that . Saw some people whom I really missed . Like DEANNA'ZUIAI (I hope she sees this) . Left Edgefield after receiving a disappointing text . Faith . I'll have faith . Cabbed to Xueying's primary school , Fernvale after that and joked 'bout her school's affliations . Stayed for a while before cabbing home .

I really have no words to explain today . My friends , teachers , and those who care about me really gives me hope , but on the other hand , I realised that you've closed the door , and you're never coming back , so fmylife .

You can hide the pain that you feel and make others believe that you've moved on .
But you can never deny the truth to yurself ,
That the person who has failed you and hurt you is still the person you will always choose to love .

I don't miss you anymore .

I cry about you being gone . It still hurts .

But I've stopped wishing you were still mine . The fact that I don't care anymore makes me want to go through it all again .

I should miss you .

-

从今以后，我要更勇敢。因为生命还有更多值得去争取，更多更美好的事情。只有不断前进，把该留下的留下，继续在人生画下更美丽的风景。

我相信我可以。加油啊，大家！;D

A watched kettle never boils . That was how I felt like when I was uploading all 68 images of Vanessa's birthday celebration in facebook . (All the pictures were either from Vanessa's handphone , or Yingying's camera anyway , cause I forgot to bring my camera that day) . But that's not the point . The point is ...
It's finally Vanessa's long awaited birthday , :B . And so , I skipped my CCA because of this big shot girl . To say that her birthday celebration was fun , awesome and amazing would be really making an understatement . It's more than that and everything was really worth it , the money , the time and not forgetting , the lies we told :P


谢谢你们，你们让我知道这种友情真的存在的。
喜欢我们不管天高地厚地谈天，说出我们最真诚的心情。没有人比你们更了解我(:
这种友情，超越亲情，谢谢你们 ;D

Why do things have to pass you by ?
The things that are so irreplaceable ,
They seem to run by without giving us the chance to see how much we've just lost .

No one realises the beauty of love ,
Until you lose it .

Still sick . Still thinking too much . Still missing you .
I think I'll only be going back to school on monday . Sighs .
When are you coming back , love ? It's been 52 days without you .
53 MISERABLE days :( .

Let bygones be bygones .
I'm confused . I'm breathless . I'm lost .
It's been a long time since I felt this kinda emotions .
Should I be happy or sad ? :) / :( .
Too much mixed feelings .
Too much thoughts .
Clashing & contradicting .
What am I thinking about .
Moving on is the best solution .
Too many obstacles that I don't want to face .
Shall just wake up from my dream and treat it like , nothing has ever happened .
It's difficult , but I'll persevere .
I'll find a way out of this , the best way out of this .
Don't go away .

I thought that by telling myself and everyone else that I hated you ,
Sooner or later , I would come to believe it .
But I now realize that by lying , it makes me want you even more .
I guess , if the can't have you , at least I know that you were mine once .

I hate it most when I'm sick . Even worse , if it's fever .
I'll just keep thinking abiout stupid things .
Fuckit . I miss you , Hojinyee:( .

You're like a kid . When you want a toy , you beg like hell for it , you find all means and ways to get it , after you obtain it , you love it . But you grew sick of it gradually as time elapse . That's when you throw it aside and forget all the times when it made you happy . Eventually , you repeat the whole process again . Just like how you treated me .

When I saw you today , a mixture of feelings just came rushing to me .
Like the missing of you , like how I think would never stop feeling upset because of you .
I know I'm not suppose feel sad anymore , I'm not suppose to feel like this .
I feel so weak . So much more fallible and fragile than I used to be .
Apparently I am now living proof that yet another platitude , time heals all wounds , is total crap .

-

Got back a couple of common test paper and the results were appalling . Flunked my Science - badly , and I didn't get the marks I was expecting for English .
Exams are already coming up , and still I don't feel the stress . I need motivation ! :(


I haven't lose my passion for everything that shaped the way I am today , things that kept me moving till now , things like dancing , sleeping , eating a lot and reading , but just I'm kinda tired from everything . I want a break , I want to stay away from everyone , I want to stay away from the one I'm expected to be just for awhile , to have some time with myself . I've been living for every single person around me , but never for myself . This time , I'm gonna do so . Cause I'm just feeling too drained being the perfect me , the role model that I'm expected to be . I wanna be reckless , I wanna make mistakes , I wanna fall , I wanna do the things that every other people are doing , cause I've missed out too much , my life and the people around me .

I don't wanna be politically correct anymore .

I'm not gonna be afraid of the unknowns , I'm so gonna walk on bravely with whatever I have , family , friends , mentor . That's totally enough . Sometimes , instead of mourning over the things we don't have , we should learn to think of those we have .

“ Instead of giving myself reasons why I can't . I'll give myself reasons why I can .”

-

On a lighter note , I would like to have a small dedication to those people who helped me out in one way or another this week .

S.Xueying , T.Yingying , C.Suxian , VanessaS. ,
You girls really never fail me make me laugh at my worst , and hear me whine , complain and nag about just everything . It's really awesome how we don't have any secrets between us and how I can let down my mask and just be myself when I'm with you guys . I really appreciate what eahc and everyone of you did for me . Thanks for making my sec2 life an enjoyable one :B .

C.QiXiang ,
You'll probably never see this , but thanks for lending me yur calculator during yesterday's Maths test (: .

VernonL. ,
You're always there to talk sense into me , or simply talk crap with me . Thanks for trying to cheer me up everytime I'm sad , and for trusting me with secrets . Hahah . You're awesome cause you're always giving me stickys \m/ .

ChrislynY. ,
It's amazing how we never run out of crap to crap about and although I always late or no reply , you would still reply my SMSes , no matter what . I love how we always laugh over silly things when we're together , andand , after EOY , let's go dye hair together , wheeee :D .

CherlynY. ,
Bitchhh , you're finally featured after pestering me for like one year plus ? HAHA . I love yur art , and how immatured and retarded you act sometimes . Although I still love you a lot , I want to give you a piece of advice . Pleaseeee , grow up ^^ .