11:12am : When you think about him, you start to cry . When he gets online , your heart beats ten times faster . When you see him , you smile without even knowing it . That means there's something that won't let you give up . Its hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone if your heart still does .


To tell the truth , I've lost my touch for blogging already . Even though I went out almost everyday for the past week , I don't know what to blog about . Anyway , some mini updates . I got back my report book already , and I already expected the results . I just pray hard that this will be a lesson , a hard one , learnt for me . I should never get distracted again , especially during examinations period . I had a hard time choosing the subject combinations that I want because as I've mentioned , my results weren't that good , and I was only eligible for two choices - both of which I had no interest in . I ended up with E19 (SS/Literature , Physics/Chemistry , D&T and POA) as my first choice , E18 (SS/History , Physics/Chemistry , D&T and POA) as my second and lastly , E21 (SS/Geography , Physics/Chemistry and D&T) . Gonna appeal for my first choice although it might be hard as I failed Maths :( . That aside , I really enjoyed the career experience as one of the post examinations activities organized by the school . Got to learn Hip Hop that day ! :) However , I thought that the post examinations programmes were too little as compared to post MYE programmes . Ugh , I actually sidetrack-ed from the real reason why I'm here today - to do some dedications ! :D I should really start now before I get distracted again !

SIMXUEYING ! ♥ Happy birthday , Jackfruit ! You're 14 , like finally . Please stop being so aunty , start being on time , stop being so dumb , start chasing yur own happiness , stop replying my messages late , start spending more money , stop wearing black and start wearing SKIRTS :D . You really should be replying me on MSN now because if you don't I'm gonna start nagging and nagging at you ;@ . I hope that when I see you in school , and hopefully , in class , next year , yur hair would be long enough to tie up already ^^

JADEGOH ! ♥ You little naughty lollipop daughter ! I hope you can grow taller , so that people will stop picking on yur height and bully you ! I know something about 18th's , do you ? :) Tsktsk , never wait for yur mom D: . Then still try to make me jealous somemore ! Chey ! But still , thanks for always being there for me , no matter what , hehehe . I remember once we gossiped and talked crap till 3am plusplus . That was like totally cool right ^^ You still owe me a Compass Point and neoprint outing :( . Hope yur mama lets you outta the house if not I'm gonna call her up ! :x

DOLLYONG ! ♥ I finally got yur surname correct ! :D You stupid monstar ! Keep say meet up meet up then end up we both never meet ! Damn asshole can :( Must meet up soon kkay ! Got so many things to catch up on with you ! We didn't meet since 12'02'2010 ! Must gossip about guys already ! Thanks for all those crazy times spent , yur matured advices and yur stupid "I was trying to help you and him!" , super paiseh okay ! HAHAHA . And you should really be honored that you're the first one to know lor ! :x

BELINDAENG ! ♥ Patrickstarrr :) . You're always the one with great advices , the one who talks sense into me , really . Thanks for always being there when I need someone to talk to , even though I always late reply you , HAHAHA . You're like so clever , seriously ! Cannot stand you anymore ! :( One day , I'll be as clever as you , I promise . Hehehe ! :B Don't stop what you're doing nor change yourself alright ? 'Cause you're awesome , just the way you are .

TOHYINGYING ! ♥ Though it might be just a big mistake , I really must thank you for helping me and him get together . Afterall , it is better to have loved and lost than to have never love at all , right ? :) You cheer up too , alright ? No guy is worth yur tears , and when you when find that is , he won't make you cry . Remember what I've always told you ? Don't do things and then regret . When you broke with him , you chose to run away instead of facing it . So why look back now ? You've chosen to run away , so continue running . Why turn back only now and not before ?

VERNONLEOW ! ♥ Thanks for all the late night talks , thanks for comforting me and thanks for trusting me with all yur secrets ! :) Don't worry , I won't say out anything dehs :D . Please grow up and stop talking like a childish kid . Looking back , you were always there for me when I need someone to talk to . Really , thank you so much . You don't know how much this means to me :) . Although we'll probably not be in the same class next year , I still hope that we'll never drift apart :) .

VANESSASOH ! ♥ Please improve yur English alright ! Shall save you some face and not post up what you said here , HAHAHA . I'm such a good friend right :) . Don't nag so much anymore kay ! Sometimes really cannot tahan yur super random hyperness and yur super long nags . Hope that we don't drift once we're in different classes because I still want back my money and headphone :( . Plus I still wanna drink yur super tasty ice-milo :D . And thanks for saving me when Kahheng stepped on my leg , if not my leg now already broken :x .

GOHSIYING ! ♥ Stupid city girl , stop teasing me about kampong ! :( Anyway , thanks for always being there when I need a listening ear and talking crap with me , but no thanks for always laughing at my blurness and calling me kampong girl ! Hope you can get AMaths or POA hahaha , if not I help you write appeal till the teachers cry because it's so touching , then for sure you can get AMaths leow :D . But must give credit to me uh ! :)

CHRISLYNYEO ! ♥ You're seriously awesome for accompanying me to school almost everyday and always reminding me to reply people , HAHAHA . Thanks for everything you've done and thanks so much for making me laugh whenever we're together . It's really great to have you by my side because you really understand what I'm going through right now . And thanks for being such a caring and tiongxim friend :D . Don't think so much about some guys who're not worth it okay ? You'll find someone better .

NGSIWEN ! ♥ Thanks for bring there for me whenever I need to talk . I remember those times during the camps , we're like so high right ? And we kept gossiping about people , I keep getting high because of something and we became lesbos right ! Hahaha , those were really the good times . You , don't think about him anymore also okay ? Love is like gambling . Once you've lost or given up , you have to clear your debts . Don't be stupid and gamble on the same guy again . Because you'll end up burning your fingers . Be strong okay ?

And lastly , to you , ♥♥♥ . It's been 125 days 3 hours 35 minutes . I think it's time that I let you go . I love you more than anything else in this world and there is nothing that I would like better than to hold on to you forever . But I know it's not for the best . So no matter how much my heart is going to break , I've got to let you go . Maybe if I'm lucky , you'll come back , but if not , I hope I can make it through this. I really wish I had the guts to walk away from what we had . But I can't . Because I know you wouldn't come after me . And thats what hurts the most . But even if I can't, I have to . Because I know , I don't mean that much to you anymore . I made a choice to finally let go , because I can't stand the pain , it's time for my last tear to fall and smile again . I wish it didn't have to be this way ...

You make your own choices every day . Whether or not to get out of bed . To smoke . To drink . To drive . To walk . To have a job . To go to that job . To hate . To love . To live .

Sometimes you forget how in control you really are .