Battling thoughts.

February 25, 2012

“If you can wish for anything, what would you want?"

For the longest time, my answer to this question had been simple yet completely impossible.

With no hesitation, my heart would shout, "I want my best friend back."

I wonder what you'll think if you hear this. Would you think I'm pathetic and stupid for clinging so tightly onto our past friendship? I guess I am. Kinda. But doesn't that prove how much you meant to me? I keep saying this, but it's true. I never realized how I loved myself and the world when I was with you. The girl in the mirror had a brighter smile, a goofy grin, and a loud, echoing laugh. She was happy, and I can see it in her skin and eyes. Even though I am content with my current life, I can't beat back the sudden waves of nostalgia and hidden sadness.

Is that what life is about? All these people who come in and out of your life. Some you want to keep forever but can't for so many complicated reasons. All these people you adore and cherish slipping away from you. You have to learn to move on? You have to learn to live without them? How are you supposed to do that? How are you supposed to reduce someone who meant the world to you into some bland memory that you'll recall when you have nothing better to do? I don't want that to happen. Even though it hurts and I cry when I think of you, I don't want to destroy the powerful emotions associated with you to disappear. I don't want you to completely walk out of my life. Even if we are far apart from another, emotionally and physically, I want to hold onto our memories together. Maybe as a selfish proof that we once existed.

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  1. Hello there! :) I really like your blog mainly because of your strong english! Do blog more. <3

  2. Thank you, you're too kind <3 I'll try my best! :)