Falling in love for the first time is easy . It's the second time around after you had fallen and trusted that someone would catch you and they didn't when it becomes difficult to let yourself fall in love again .
Thursday , 4 November 2010 , 7:03:10pm : This world is too superficial . Sometimes , I wonder how hypocritical one soul could get . We have to pretend to like someone just to make life simple , be happy and have to dissemble or true emotions just to spare a thought for those who feel for us .
Friday , 5 November 2010 , 12:22:48am : I actually fell asleep while typing this post . Woke up in tears . Do you have any idea how much I long for your warm embrace once again ? Even if it's just for that one minute , or even , one second ? I tried so hard , after you left , to pick myself up , to pick up the pieces of my heart but I can't . I just can't .
Friday , 5 November 2010 , 12:46:52am : You told me till the end of time , remember ? Sometimes I really wish I could return to my childhood periods . At least , when I fall , the pain is only physical . Now , every pain that I receive when I fall is the pain that's coming from my heart .
To love someone is to understand each other , to laugh together , to smile with yur heart and to trust one another .
One important thing is to let go of each other if you can't do these .
Happy Halloween/Bieberween :D .
11:12am : When you think about him, you start to cry . When he gets online , your heart beats ten times faster . When you see him , you smile without even knowing it . That means there's something that won't let you give up . Its hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone if your heart still does .
Xueying's 14th :D ,
The only reason we look like crazy women here is because we were on the skyride and the wind was blowing at Yingying's hair and I'm freaking out because I'm acrophobic ._. .
The only reason we look like crazy women here is because we were on the skyride and the wind was blowing at Yingying's hair and I'm freaking out because I'm acrophobic ._. .
To tell the truth , I've lost my touch for blogging already . Even though I went out almost everyday for the past week , I don't know what to blog about . Anyway , some mini updates . I got back my report book already , and I already expected the results . I just pray hard that this will be a lesson , a hard one , learnt for me . I should never get distracted again , especially during examinations period . I had a hard time choosing the subject combinations that I want because as I've mentioned , my results weren't that good , and I was only eligible for two choices - both of which I had no interest in . I ended up with E19 (SS/Literature , Physics/Chemistry , D&T and POA) as my first choice , E18 (SS/History , Physics/Chemistry , D&T and POA) as my second and lastly , E21 (SS/Geography , Physics/Chemistry and D&T) . Gonna appeal for my first choice although it might be hard as I failed Maths :( . That aside , I really enjoyed the career experience as one of the post examinations activities organized by the school . Got to learn Hip Hop that day ! :) However , I thought that the post examinations programmes were too little as compared to post MYE programmes . Ugh , I actually sidetrack-ed from the real reason why I'm here today - to do some dedications ! :D I should really start now before I get distracted again !
SIMXUEYING ! ♥ Happy birthday , Jackfruit ! You're 14 , like finally . Please stop being so aunty , start being on time , stop being so dumb , start chasing yur own happiness , stop replying my messages late , start spending more money , stop wearing black and start wearing SKIRTS :D . You really should be replying me on MSN now because if you don't I'm gonna start nagging and nagging at you ;@ . I hope that when I see you in school , and hopefully , in class , next year , yur hair would be long enough to tie up already ^^
JADEGOH ! ♥ You little naughty lollipop daughter ! I hope you can grow taller , so that people will stop picking on yur height and bully you ! I know something about 18th's , do you ? :) Tsktsk , never wait for yur mom D: . Then still try to make me jealous somemore ! Chey ! But still , thanks for always being there for me , no matter what , hehehe . I remember once we gossiped and talked crap till 3am plusplus . That was like totally cool right ^^ You still owe me a Compass Point and neoprint outing :( . Hope yur mama lets you outta the house if not I'm gonna call her up ! :x
DOLLYONG ! ♥ I finally got yur surname correct ! :D You stupid monstar ! Keep say meet up meet up then end up we both never meet ! Damn asshole can :( Must meet up soon kkay ! Got so many things to catch up on with you ! We didn't meet since 12'02'2010 ! Must gossip about guys already ! Thanks for all those crazy times spent , yur matured advices and yur stupid "I was trying to help you and him!" , super paiseh okay ! HAHAHA . And you should really be honored that you're the first one to know lor ! :x
BELINDAENG ! ♥ Patrickstarrr :) . You're always the one with great advices , the one who talks sense into me , really . Thanks for always being there when I need someone to talk to , even though I always late reply you , HAHAHA . You're like so clever , seriously ! Cannot stand you anymore ! :( One day , I'll be as clever as you , I promise . Hehehe ! :B Don't stop what you're doing nor change yourself alright ? 'Cause you're awesome , just the way you are .
TOHYINGYING ! ♥ Though it might be just a big mistake , I really must thank you for helping me and him get together . Afterall , it is better to have loved and lost than to have never love at all , right ? :) You cheer up too , alright ? No guy is worth yur tears , and when you when find that is , he won't make you cry . Remember what I've always told you ? Don't do things and then regret . When you broke with him , you chose to run away instead of facing it . So why look back now ? You've chosen to run away , so continue running . Why turn back only now and not before ?
VERNONLEOW ! ♥ Thanks for all the late night talks , thanks for comforting me and thanks for trusting me with all yur secrets ! :) Don't worry , I won't say out anything dehs :D . Please grow up and stop talking like a childish kid . Looking back , you were always there for me when I need someone to talk to . Really , thank you so much . You don't know how much this means to me :) . Although we'll probably not be in the same class next year , I still hope that we'll never drift apart :) .
VANESSASOH ! ♥ Please improve yur English alright ! Shall save you some face and not post up what you said here , HAHAHA . I'm such a good friend right :) . Don't nag so much anymore kay ! Sometimes really cannot tahan yur super random hyperness and yur super long nags . Hope that we don't drift once we're in different classes because I still want back my money and headphone :( . Plus I still wanna drink yur super tasty ice-milo :D . And thanks for saving me when Kahheng stepped on my leg , if not my leg now already broken :x .
GOHSIYING ! ♥ Stupid city girl , stop teasing me about kampong ! :( Anyway , thanks for always being there when I need a listening ear and talking crap with me , but no thanks for always laughing at my blurness and calling me kampong girl ! Hope you can get AMaths or POA hahaha , if not I help you write appeal till the teachers cry because it's so touching , then for sure you can get AMaths leow :D . But must give credit to me uh ! :)
CHRISLYNYEO ! ♥ You're seriously awesome for accompanying me to school almost everyday and always reminding me to reply people , HAHAHA . Thanks for everything you've done and thanks so much for making me laugh whenever we're together . It's really great to have you by my side because you really understand what I'm going through right now . And thanks for being such a caring and tiongxim friend :D . Don't think so much about some guys who're not worth it okay ? You'll find someone better .
NGSIWEN ! ♥ Thanks for bring there for me whenever I need to talk . I remember those times during the camps , we're like so high right ? And we kept gossiping about people , I keep getting high because of something and we became lesbos right ! Hahaha , those were really the good times . You , don't think about him anymore also okay ? Love is like gambling . Once you've lost or given up , you have to clear your debts . Don't be stupid and gamble on the same guy again . Because you'll end up burning your fingers . Be strong okay ?
And lastly , to you , ♥♥♥ . It's been 125 days 3 hours 35 minutes . I think it's time that I let you go . I love you more than anything else in this world and there is nothing that I would like better than to hold on to you forever . But I know it's not for the best . So no matter how much my heart is going to break , I've got to let you go . Maybe if I'm lucky , you'll come back , but if not , I hope I can make it through this. I really wish I had the guts to walk away from what we had . But I can't . Because I know you wouldn't come after me . And thats what hurts the most . But even if I can't, I have to . Because I know , I don't mean that much to you anymore . I made a choice to finally let go , because I can't stand the pain , it's time for my last tear to fall and smile again . I wish it didn't have to be this way ...
You make your own choices every day . Whether or not to get out of bed . To smoke . To drink . To drive . To walk . To have a job . To go to that job . To hate . To love . To live .
Sometimes you forget how in control you really are .
And have never grew tired of listening of
But time brought me a lesson which I've never knew
And I'm now beginning to wonder if
I have been stuck in a fairytale dream all this while .
After having second thoughts , I decided to update my blog despite the intense fatigue that I'm drowned in or else I couldn't think of another solution to resuscitated my dead blog . After doing a fast estimation , I guess I haven't been posting for approximately a week or so ! OMG HAHAHAHA . Thank you , readers , so much for making my tagboard and formspring still so alive .
That aside , days after exams are heavenly ! :D As expected , like everyone else , I went to celebrate the end of EOY right after the last paper by watching a 3D HORROR MOVIE , 童眼 . I had a fruitful and satisfying break after the hectic weeks of mugging for EOY . Shopping spree , movies , gossiping , sleeping , dreaming , laughing , meeting up with old pals , and lastly EATING ! Everything that I wanted to do was done . Well , almost . I'm looking forward to a class chalet , which seems slightly impossible . $$ !
Anyway , after 6 days of resting , it's back to school . To be honest , I dreaded this day 'cause it's the day we're getting back our results . I actually thought I would do WAAAAAY better because although there were some distractions here and there , I kinda studied , but the results were appaling and way below expectation . For those interested , here's my results :
Science - F9
English - B3
Geography - F9
Maths - F9
DnT - A2
Literature - A1
Chinese - D7
And , yes . I didn't pass my overall ._. . Anyway , what's done is done . I'm not gonna regret , 'cause I studied . :)
Through my haste , impatience waits . The time has come , I hesitate . Feel so dry , I'm dead inside I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired . So I wake up and I feel that there is nothing real . I haven't heard your voice in so long and I know this drought is probably not your fault . I'm so weak and thirsty . My heart is thin , sin creeps in . I know . You see the pride in me .
My mind is gone , I cannot think.
Dear agony , when are you taking yur leave ?
Happy 10/10/10 , people :) .
My weekly schedule is plainly for school , lunch , remedials and revision . The remaining hours I have left are used to reply the questions on my formspring . How on earth am I gonna survive if this is gonna continue any longer .Well , at least EOY has already started and I've already handed up my Art project (pictures above) , which was a complete headache for me , and I guess my nightmare will end soon .
Still , thank you truckloads for the lovely comments and messages . They were really encouraging . If you haven't realised , I still do read the tagboard even when I don't post :) . Anyway , thanks to those who are have been patiently awaiting for my blog post ! Alrights , will be back soon with a real proper post ! Hopefully .
Put away the pictures , put away the memories . I put over and over through my tears . I've held them till I'm blind , they kept my hope alive , as if somehow they would keep you here . Now here it comes , the hardest part of all , unchain my heart that's holding on . How do I start to live my life alone ? Guess I'm just learning , learning the art of letting go . Tried to say it's over , say the word good bye , but each time it catches in my throat . You're still here in me and I can't set you free , so I hold on to what I wanted most and maybe someday , we'll be friends forevermore . And that would be the moment , I wish I could open up that door .
Will not be blogging anytime soon , I guess .
Sometimes I wake up in the midst of my sleep , just to make sure there are stars accompanying me like how you represent them . However , it's no longer the truth . And I'm starting to realize that fairytales are lies , wishes do not come true , love does hurts , dreams are false hopes , but pain comes by naturally yet I also believe that memories will never fade away .
