You and me.

September 18, 2012

"I miss who we were, how we felt and mostly, who you used to be."

When a stranger becomes your friend, it's a joyous thing. But it's really sad when your friend becomes a stranger, especially when you can do nothing about it. When you're do helpless, and the only thing you can do is to watch her change into someone you never knew. I don't know. There's certainly a number of people I can do without, but there's just this few people that means so much to me, that I think I'll never be able to let go.

"Pictures never change, but the people in them do."

I can't deny that throughout this year, you've always slipped into my mind unconsciously, whether I like it or not. I try to not think about it, but it's hard. After all, we used to be such close friends. I don't understand how fast people can erase me from their lives, just because it's easier than working things out.

"If this was a movie, you'd be here by now."

Today I thought of you. I thought of you and all the fun we used to have. I thought of our friendship. How something so beautiful got shattered just because of a few misunderstandings that we had and never bothered to clear up. How a two years plus friendship went haywire in the last few months. How you change my life, without me even knowing it, just by being in it.

 How much laughter we had, how much tears we shed. How we used to be the best of friends but now, it is awkward to even hear your name or pass by you. How you used to play such a big part in my life but now we just walk past each other like we never knew each other. How I used to pour out my heart to you, but now I can barely look at you. How you paid for my food when I had no money. How I would copy lines for you instead of myself when we got punished.

How you bought me together with J, then Z. How I would wait for you to sleep first before I go to bed when you're upset. How we would always get hyper together. How we had endless topics to talk about. How you tried to patch up J and me. How we met jerks who put gaming before us, how we cried over the same things.

"It sucks when I miss you so much that I go looking through old photos, old conversations, and even old statuses. And it makes me smile, but then the hurt comes back."

As many times as I've posted here about you, I still can't get over it. I wonder if you ever think of me like how much I think of you. I wonder if you miss the times we had, or are you just someone else meant to walk into my life, leave some footprints, and then leave? Do you still visit my blog to keep yourself updated with whatever is happening in my life? Is there anything that I could do to make things go back to normal? Can we have a conversation about this? If you ever see this, leave me a text maybe?

By now, sadness has replaced whatever anger I had towards you. And I know, I'll never find someone like you.

"Once that moment is gone, it's gone forever."

I will miss you, and all that we had, hyperpills.

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