haven't been feeLing like myself recently;

i have been in the process of losing,

finding, then lOsing myself again lately.

why is this so? what's happening?

each time i think i'Ve found myself,

i lose it all and have to start ovEr again.

i don't know who i aM, what i want,

or what i'm doing with my lifE anymore.

i thought I found happiness in you,

but all that i found were fAlse hopes

from soMeone whom i thought understood;

from someone who shoulD have cared more.

tell me i am utterlY wrong.

tell me you saw what is happenIng.

tell me you didN't mean it at all.

tell me i was riGht about you all along.

i'm so afraid to be Happy now

because whEnever i'm happy,

something just Ruins it for me.

not letting my hopEs up again.

i'm lost. 

i'm afraid.

i'm terrified.

who will save me?

can anyone save me?