The notion of ever being "not good enough" tears me up in the most violent way possible yet breaks down my existence in a manner so gentle, so gradual nobody would have noticed.

The days leading to my term break saw me in a befuddled state, stifling, on the verge tears. I was constantly stressed out. I didn't reply my friends for days because I couldn't stand picking up my phone. Going online meant facing a deluge of work/school-related messages I wasn't prepared to answer.

My body showed signs of decrepitude and I went around looking gaunt daily. I grimaced at the thought of work. I was burnt out, my mind insolently blank.

"You're doing well. You need to stop being so hard on yourself"

Yet, instead of taking the pieces of advice to take a pause, I stubbornly took on even more jobs. I thought by keeping myself busy, I could numb the pain. Fighting fire with fire? Maybe.

The recent occurrences, the multitudinous challenges, forced me to believe that life just has an unhealthy obsession with ruining me. Tearing me down. Breaking me apart. It's been months of trying to put my life together. I'm contented but, as like poles repel each other, triumph still eludes me every time.

Beset with an avalanche of self-doubts, I catch myself neurotically wondering, too many times, when will I succeed — if ever.

The past weeks have been... Tough. Petrifying. Arduous. Enigmatic breakdowns and anxiety attacks beyond anyone’s comprehension. Even mine. Just typing this triggers my tears. Life, it seems, is hell bent on ruining me.

I haven’t seen most of my friends in weeks. Considering how much of a social butterfly I usually am, it took everyone by surprise when I cancelled and reschedule plans. I was always the first to be counted in for gatherings, but now I just want to be away.

I’m going to be okay, I’ll be alright, I’m fine. I just wish somebody other than me can assure me that. I’m facing this on my own. I don’t have anyone by my side. I’m terrified. I feel so, so alone

Taiwan — my first business trip, my place of growth and healing, the perfect ending to my gap year. I initially wanted to stay in Taipei for a few days before travelling to Hokkaido but as luck would have it, all the cheap flights were quickly snapped up. Unwilling to pay more, I decided to stay and travel around Taiwan for 11 days, exploring the other counties that I've never set foot in, mainly Hualien, Taitung, Tainan and Taichung. Here's a brief itinerary of how I spent my time in Taiwan this summer!

I spent the bulk of my time in Taipei, and met up with my Taiwanese friends since I was starting school soon and wouldn't be travelling to Taiwan anymore for the next two years. Because of this, I had a good mixture of touristy stuff and local hunts in my itinerary, which I really liked since I got to see two sides of Taiwan. I also slowed down my itinerary since it was my upteempth time in Taiwan and I wanted to travel at a relaxing pace instead of rushing to places.

I found Free & Slow Hostel at the very last minute — before leaving for Hualien — and made my booking right away because of the hostel's unique concept. I mean, Free & Slow Hostel allows you to go camping on a trip in an air-conditioned room? Yes, please! To make things better, Free & Slow Hostel is just five to ten minutes away from Hualien Railway Station, where you alight after taking the train from or to Taipei.

she raised a fist
counted to ten
voices taunting her sanity

she’s out at sea
a desperate, hopeless wonder
swept away
by waves of madness, self-hatred and despair

she fought to breathe
but she couldn’t stay alive
even in the Dead Sea

My mommy always lamented that she has never received a bouquet of flowers in her entire life, so when Floral Garage Singapore — a florist in Singapore — contacted me, I took the chance to surprise her with a bouquet of carnations!


Floral Garage Singapore is an online florist in Singapore that offers affordable bouquets with same day delivery — perfect for the last minute present or urgent apology.


After discussing my mom's preferences in flowers and colours, Floral Garage Singapore customised a Premium Freestyle Bouquet for my mom. I love how we can specifically ask for our loved one’s favourite flowers to be included in the bouquet if we can't find a bouquet suitable to our taste on the website.


Initially, I had to cancel my bouquet delivery at the last minute because something urgent cropped up. I was impressed by how accomodating Floral Garage Singapore was, and we quickly arranged for another delivery. The deliveryman was punctual and polite, which I really appreciated!

Floral Garage Singapore offers a wide range of delivery times on both weekends and weekdays suited for all customers, from students to working adults. They also provide same day delivery if you need your bouquet of flowers urgently! For more information on delivery times, visit Floral Garage Singapore’s website.



The bouquet of pink carnations definitely brightened up my mom’s day, especially after her long day at work!


Besides the typical bouquets and hampers, Floral Garage SG offers quirky gifts like vegetable bouquet and mini baby breaths.

Floral Garage Singapore

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Contact Numbers

9387 8871 (message)
6282 2813 (call)

Email

service@floralgaragesg.com

Taipei Main Inn is located conveniently at Taipei Main Station — the very reason I chose to stay this hostel. Upon arrival, I was delighted to find out that the hostel is literally opposite Taipei Main Station's Y13 exit and a stone's throw away (5-minute walk) from Taipei Railway Station. Although not as fancy as some other hostels in Taipei, Taipei Main Inn prime location paired with its affordable price made it a perfect choice for my four nights in Taipei.

Literally 50 meters away from Taipei Main Station's Y13 exit

times like these, i wonder how you do it
i wonder how do you make me feel what i rarely feel, and admit to it
how do you bring out this part of me

-

i wish i didn't say those things last night that made me look, and feel so vulnerable. texts past midnight are the WORST. there's no words in the dictionary i can use now that won't make me look a loser.

this is one of the posts that i'll read four years later and wonder what the hell happened — hopefully, feeling less confused then than now. but if there's only one thing i'm sure of in this moment, let it be this.

to 25-year-old me,
you were such a foolish young adult.