Spent my entire day drafting out blog posts then deleting them because I have too many things on my mind that should be private. Sometimes I hate how I cannot freely speak my mind on my blog because it is a public platform but other times I love being able to share my thoughts with anyone who's reading my blog.

But, ANYWAY.

I am in such a dilemma right now. Obviously I can't share anything here and I've talked to my friends about it but I really really really wish I could talk to the people involved. That would make things so much easier. But the people involved are the people I cannot talk to because they do not care enough so I am forced to make this decision myself.

And this decision can change my life.

I don't know what to do man. I'm giving myself a month, or at least till the end of my holidays since it's a major decision and I need all the time I have in the world to consider and reconsider.

Sigh this post such a mess and I'm not bringing any point across but I really wish the person I want to speak to the most will see this, know what I'm talking about and text me so that we could talk about it. I hope he stumbles upon this somehow but the chances are damn low ugh.

I don't even think that person reads my blog wtf so I'm not expecting much. But the people around him reads this space so............ Hopefully someone will let him know? But this post is so general that it can be just about ANYONE in the world, right? Ugh wtf I have no idea how is writing this post going to help if I'm not specific. But I can't be.

This is such a mess, just like my mind and my life.

The young me ten years ago would be so ashamed by how my life turned out.

I really hope I make the right decision.