8 more days to EOY yet I can't focus on anything else except crying and mopping around the whole day .

94th day without you , love .
Ironically , it's 94 more days to my birthday .
I've always wanted to spend my birthday with you , since I first set my eyes on you 230 days ago . But it's impossible now , isn't it ?
It's 11:11 . I wished for you . Wish you were here . Wish I was there . Wish it was different . Wish wishes came true .

I'd wish you back .

He kept telling me that everything would get better in time , everything would be fine . But it seems like it's getting nowhere , and everything's making a turn for the worse instead of for the better . When can I be happy again ?

Monday , 27 September 2010 , 7:07:26pm : Watching time elapse , every second , every minute , I'm still waiting for that ray of hope ; The hope that you'll come around . Forget the fact that it has already been 92 days as it seems like it would take me forever to have you erased from my heart , my brain , my soul . You're the only one that I ever loved , the only one that cared . You're the only one that ever mattered , the only one there . You are the only one .

9:09:57pm : And at last, the answer is out . I'm lost for words, everything's hidden tightly , close to my heart , I wish I could spill everything out instead of bottling it up but I know , nothing would ever bring you back in my arms again . Hope you could find a better girl soon , love .

Tuesday , 28 September 2010 , 9:57:42am : I should hate you , but I love you more than I could ever hate you . I love no one but you , I have discovered , but you are far away and I am here alone . Then this is my life and maybe , however unlikely , I'll find my way back there 

2:25:19pm : Well , but one thing , I've to show my gratitude and appreciation to those who care whenever I hit my rock bottom , especially to SIMXUEYING . Sometimes , I'm so thankful to realize how beautiful some people are deep down their hearts .

2:36:42pm : I lied when I told you I'm okay . I know it doesn't seem like a big thing but I don't want to seem weak in front of you . Ignore me . I'm sad and I'll make you sad . We disappointed and hurt and left each other - and then you forgot me . I become too attached to people . People like you . It has already happened , but I don't want to ask too much of you . I don't wanna ruin all the fun you're having . I'll just leave right now . I'll go away so you can enjoy yourself .

Watching you walk out of my life , slowly fading away ...
There's nothing I could do , I tried my utmost best to hold tight ,
Yet you still went out of sight . I could only lay there ,
With tears on my face and cry in despair .

What you saw and heard were my cold words , what I've said . If you bothered to look a little closer you'll see that I said , "Leave ," but all I really want is for you to show that you still care , assure me that you still love me , and wait there in the pouring rain , coming back for more .


Today was really fun :) .
I lit up a candle for the first time , and I think I looked mad happy in that photo that they took of me , hahahaha .
Photos will be uploaded soon as I'm not home , therefore , don't have my usb connector with me .

I can't even look at you . Me and my stupid pride are sitting here alone , going through the photographs , staring at the phone . I keep going back over things we both said . If you know everything 'bout me , why didn't you know that when I walked out of the door , all I wanted was for you to chase after me ?

Went Alive Gallery today and it was NOTHING LESS THAN AWESOME :) . $13 well spent . And I can say that I enjoyed myself thoroughly . I love the Mona Lisa part best . We talked to Mona Lisa and asked her so many questions that we heard the person in the audio room who's supposed to be Mona Lisa's voice exclaim in despair "I don't know !" before Mona Lisa waved us off . I stood there and insisted that she say bye before I go off . HAHAHA .

But we went back after a while again to disturb her . We asked her if she shaved her eyebrows , what's the background , how many points perspective was used to paint the picture , who was her husband . I asked if she loves me and she told me that she's not a lesbian , HAHAH . I also asked what was her shoe size and she was like "It's a secret" and I went "YOU DON'T KNOW RIGHT . That's why you said it's a secret" then she answered back "Even if I tell you any size you'll also believe" . I find it really amusing , HAHAHHA . Oh , and Mona Lisa said "你好？" to me :) . Walked around a while , played some games took some (low-quality) photos before heading home .

You're everything I thought you never were and nothing like I thought you could've been . But still , you live inside of me so tell me how is that ? You're the only one I wish I could forget . The only one I'd love enough to not forgive and though you break my heart , you're the only one . And though there are times when I hate you cause I can't erase the times that you hurt me and put tears on my face . And even now while I hate you , it pains me to say I know I'll be there at the end of the day .

These few days had been super ominous for me , struggling through a lot of emotional issues and of course , school work . I've been unable to sort out my thoughts properly , unable to think straight and had been lagging behind my study schedule . What's wrong with me , like seriously ? ._.
EOY's just like 15 days down the road, and how many days do I have left to mug ? Grr :/ And with the pace I'm going at , plus the work I'm totally lagging behind , I'm seriously not gonna make it . :( 白宜静，请你醒醒好不好，时间不多了。再不加油，你就没救了。

To everyone who asked me questions on formspring ;
I'm really sorry for all those late replies , but I'm having a hard time making lemonades with all those lemons life threw at me . I'll try to answer a few questions per day so , PLEASE BE PATIENT D: . Thanks for understanding yeah :) .

When you're at the top , remember what if felt like at the bottom .
When you're at the bottom , remember what it felt like at the top .

When you try your best , but you don't succeed .
When you get what you want , but not what you need .
When you feel so tired , but you can't sleep .
Stuck in reverse .

And the tears come streaming down yur face ,
When you lose something you can't replace .
When you love someone , but it goes to waste .
Could it be worse ?

And high up above or down below .
When you're too in love to let it go ,
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth .

It's when you hold eye contact for that second too long or maybe the way you laugh . It sets off a flash and our memories take a picture of who we are at that point when we first know "This is love ."

And we clutch that picture to our hearts because we expect each other to always be the people in that picture . But people change . People aren't pictures . And you can either take a new picture or throw the old one away .

But what if I still love you ?

I know you're just a rag doll now , sewn together with memories that we might have had .

I know you're just the dream inside of a dream .

And don't worry , I know I don't know you , anymore .

I found a boyf whom I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with .

Study , study and study , study's gonna be my new boyf . How cool . Imagine having to face study's mentor – books :/ . HAHAHAHA , that's crap -.- .
It's only 24 days away from EOY . The countdown is making me anxious and feeling all kinds of emotions :/ . But it's still a wake up call . I cannot afford to lose my focus anymore . I cannot afford to be distracted again . So yes , I'm gonna give it the last shot . Make it or not , I've tried my best .

Damn , I feel like I'm excessively convincing myself :/
HAHAHA . Okay . Ending here to go paktor with my dearest boyf already .

I pray that you're okay . That it's okay . I pray that all the parts of you that I remember are still there . I pray that you're happy . Even if it's not with me .

Whenever I hear about yur new life , I die a little bit inside , my heart cracks a little more . But I'm happy for you . I really am .

-

Justinbieber followed me on twitter :D
Thankyou Belinda for helping me to tweet him nonstop and thankyou Jade for noticing that he already followed me if not I'll still be tweeting him like mad :B .

Sometimes I feel like fighting a war I'll never win .
A war between my head and my heart .
My head says Yesyesyes , but my heart says Nonono .
Know what ? The heart is the center of the body but it beats on the left .
Maybe that's the reason the heart is not always right .
All these I know but I still can't help ending my everyday with thoughts of you and start everyday picturing yur face and thinking of everything we could be .
I don't know if I'll be happier , but I'm saying goodbye .
You've moved on , and I should too .
It's hard but I'll try .
'Cause I don't wanna be the sad Regine anymore ,
I wanna be someone who's unafraid to make mistakes , someone who's always cheery and someone who never lacks of any smiles to give out .

I just want a peaceful , enriching life ahead . And I'll make that happen .

Today , I realized I still love you .
For all those other days I rested in denial ,
Those were the days I was too stubborn to notice I was losing you .

Got back my results slip , and I improved , but still . I think I can do MUCH BETTER .

English — B4
Chinese — F9
Maths — B3
Science — F9
Geography — C5
Literature — A2
Art — A2

L1R5 — B4 + B3 + F9 + A2 + A2 + C6 = 26 .
Fml ._.

People make mistakes , and the biggest mistake I ever made in my life was not in loving you .
The biggest mistake in my life that I have ever done was to let you go .
And , now I realize that you will never come back to me .

Time never said

" Best you enjoy yourself now because we're going somewhere soon ."

But that's what he meant .

Remember what you asked me sometime ago ? You asked if I loved you or myself more .

Today , after they asked me a particular question , I realised that I have the answer in my heart all along .

Suspension from school today and watched Haunted Changi with YingYing , Vanessa and XueYing . It was boring :/ .

I would really much prefer seeing you happy , having more friends and all , cause I know then , that I've made a right choice in letting you go . I guess this is what they mean by giving up doesn't always mean that you're weak , sometimes it means that you're strong enough to let go .

Once bitten , twice shy . I kept my distance , but you still catch my eyes .