I'm back suckers! Wasn't feeling kinda great in terms of my mood over the past few days because of some stupid matters. I need to stop being like that. Paranoid. Or else, I'm seriously gonna go crazy someday. I need to learn how to trust, believe and have faith in the people around me. Also, learn how to say and do. The problem with me is that I always do empty talks and never take action, so I'm so gonna apply 'say and do' in my life.

Perhaps today may be the last time I'd be posting, or else on Sunday or Monday, if I'm able to. As for the rest of next week till 20th of May, I'll be standing down from my blog I guess. In other words, I'll only blog after my last paper. Miss me, miss my post. Hehe, since it might be the last post. Let me make this post more presentable aye. Did my NAPFA five stations on Monday and I re-ran my 2.4km run on Wednesday as I was not satisfied with my last timing. Well, I'm happy with my NAPFA results now and I managed to secure a gold. Had a quarrel with baby and I'm really glad that we're okay again.

Did alot of thinking during our cold war. I've learnt that everything is impermanent. As much as we are loving or hating the people around us or situations we're in right now, things are going to change, feelings won't always be the same. Situations evolve over time. Beautiful people won't always be beautiful. Flowers bloom, but they wither as well. In other words, nothing lasts forever. So why bother clinging on so tightly to the good things that are no longer around us? Why not just let things be? That's what you always say. After all, nothing lasts forever, right? While I most certainly agree with such a belief because clinging on certainly doesn't help in the recovery process when you lose someone/ something. I'm confused at the same time. Say for example, in a relationship, two people are drifting apart because they aren't able to interact as much as they used to. Using the impermanence theory, the natural reaction would be: Oh well, since nothing lasts forever, feelings are bound to evolve over time. I can't keep the other party anyway. Might as well live and let live. Give up and move on. It makes me feel better yea. I don't see any sign of motivation in it at all. That man/woman who is having such thoughts simply wouldn't be compelled to do his best in the relationship and in pursuing his/her partner. Even though love still exists between them, he is willing to let go of his companion simply because things are impermanent? There's a lack of "trying" here I feel.

Just because some things are impermanent, doesn't mean that you shouldn't try your best to achieve it. Just because we all grow old one day and that physical attractiveness doesn't last forever, doesn't mean that we shouldn't strive hard to look clean and presentable everyday, right? Just because I will die eventually, doesn't mean that I have to stop living now. I will live, and I will live life to the fullest until the day my body doesn't allow me to do so. That, guys, is what I think impermanence means. To do everything at our fullest maximum capacity. And until we've done our best, should we submit to the idea that things are impermanent as they are.

Just a year ago till now. Best friends turn into strangers, friends become enemies, close guy friends become your biggest crush, the innocent ones become whores, most liked become hated, and none of us thought it would turn out like this. I know I didn't.