Another chapter, closed.



If love moves like air, then teach me how to dig my nails into the palm of my hand. So I can remember what you once felt like.

Those who've been following my twitter updates
may have guessed that something wasn't right.
To cut it short, I am single again.



Our relationship has been nothing but turbulent recently.
In sum, we're just two lovers with too different views
about too many things in life at the moment.
Missed anniversaries that were never made up for.
Dates and outings that were planned but never ever realized.
Unhappiness over the same, old fundamental view differences
over and over, and over again.

The second you're willing to make yourself miserable to make someone else happy. That's love right there.

I don't know what lies beyond this stage of my life.
But what's for sure is I'll keep this blog alive.
Because I don't know where else to express my feelings anymore.

You were the only person I'd love to spent the rest of my life with. But we broke apart and now you're just another painful memory.

Nothing's the same again.
If someone were to ask me what is it that I regretted most in this relationship,
I would reply, "nothing."
Because this relationship wasn't like any of my previous relationships.
This relationship was special. Not only to me, but also to him, I believe.


People say that bad memories cause the most pain, but it's actually the good ones that drive you insane.

Of course, our relationship has not always been like this.
I will miss those sweet old times of ours.
You were the one who made me believed in love and someone I could rely on.
I remember that week when we were both down with HFMD, you fed me medicines when I went to your house and hugged me while I slept.
You'll always hug me tight whenever I'm cold or sad. You never fail to wipe my tears away for me and provide me with tissues. You're always able to make me smile.
I will always remember the day when you sent me home all the way to my doorstep when I was having fever. Although to you, it's just a small gesture, to me, it means the whole world because no guy has ever done this for me before.
And that midnight movie and we watched, with me cuddling in your arms and eventually falling asleep. I felt so blessed back then.
You will always try to get me anything I want, even though you're not rich. You'll try your best to spend as much time as you can with me, even though your mom's strict.
I remember that night when we were walking around Marine Parade and we brought me to a playground to look at the kids. You said we can imagine how our kids will look like. you said you'll cook for me. It never happened.
Remember the day you lied to your mom that you had exams, I lied to mine that I'm heading to school and we went to East Coast beach together and walked around? I was playing with the seawater and squealing and you sat there, smiling to yourself.
You knew all my secrets but you never ever judged me. Instead, you accept me for who I am.
I remember hugging you to sleep and waking up to see you still asleep, with a smile on your face. I've never seen you more peaceful and happy. To this day, I'm still wondering what were you dreaming about. Was it about me? Will dreaming about me still make you happy?
You were always being silly. Doing crazy stuff and then calling me crazy.
Every morning we'll meet before we walking to school together. And when you're late, I constantly remind myself that I shouldn't be angry because you could have slept in more but you chose to take two buses, just to meet me in the morning. I'm really grateful for this.
I still keep all those long texts that you send me. I read them everyday before I fall asleep.

No one can promise they'll never hurt you, because at one time or another they will. The real promise is if the time you spent together will be worth the pain in the end.

All our plans for the future... Nothing but memories now.
I've always been insecure. I've always asked you, everyday, if you'll ever leave me.
Time and again, you said you won't. You promised. You vowed. You sweared.


But I am not sad that they're over.
Because I want you to remember that,
You've once made me feel like the luckiest girl on Universe.
I've never felt this way before, until I met you.
And it was the most incredible feeling one could ever have.

So here's to us.

All the best to you, babyboy.
You'll find a better girl.