I'm trying to reduce angsty rants on my blog because they do no good to this blog or my life but I'm damn pissed off today. I'm so annoyed that all the travel opportunities in the recent years never materialised. Maybe I sound petty now but if you've been reading my blog for quite some time, you would know how much I love travelling. So much that I would even say love is an understatement.

But all the chances I get really just 擦肩而过, which makes me really depressed. Like God is trolling me. if I don't have the destiny to travel then don't give me false hopes la!!! Make me happy then sad. :( It's not even because I have financial problems or no freedom to do what I want. It's literally these chances brushing by me and mocking at me.

It got so bad sometime this year that I was seriously contemplating visiting Hong Kong alone since I already had my itinerary planned out. I didn't in the end because I thought it would be a busy period for me at that time so I'd rather stay in Singapore and get my work done than to worry about them in Hong Kong. Obviously, in an attempt to mock me even more, the things that I cancelled my trip for didn't happen AND I wasn't even needed at work during that period of time!!!

I was so frigging dejected that I cried for days because I've been looking forward to this trip since 2013 and I already had everything planned out! Including the hotels and even the places to dined in. This led me to feeling damn miserable and hateful when I see my friends posting their travel photos because


I felt even more horrible after that because I knew I shouldn't be feeling this way but at the same time I couldn't help it. I'm so freaking jealous of my friends who get to travel several times a year to different places. To places I can only dream about going. To places I've only read about in books. Why them? Why me?

Less than six months to my 20th birthday and I've never been to Disneyland. Not even the smallest one while my peers are conquering Disneyland, Disney World, DisneySea. Heck, I've never been out of Southeast Asia on my own (the two times I was out - to China and Australia - were school trips that were more educational than anything else and I was too young to know anything or even have photos as memories).

All the trips promised by the people around me? Never fulfilled. I mean, I can't blame them for having commitments but I can't help feeling disappointed and let down too.

I guess sometimes I just have to be brave. Trust myself. Throw caution to the wind. Go out there and explore on my own. Or I'll just get McBreakfast tomorrow to I can cheer myself up. Lol.