I disconnect myself from reality, I told myself to stop expecting. When you're nice to me, I keep reminding myself that you are not the same person I fell in love with. I always told myself to not have any expectations anymore because I know you cannot fulfill them. Sometimes I put on an act so well that I fool even myself. Hmmm, maybe I really don't care anymore...

Yet, at the end of the day?

It still hurts because I still love you. I don't know how can I stop and it's tearing me apart. I cannot talk about it to anyone, I cannot understand you, I don't know what I want. One sentence from you is enough to bring me up to heaven or drag me down to hell. My heart still skips a beat when you flirt with me, I still feel butterflies in my stomach when you kiss me.

But none of these change the fact that you're the different person from who you were two years back. If you're different, then who and what am I in love with? The tiny cells that make up who you are? Or am I blinded by who you were? Am I waiting for a miracle to happen so that you could be the same again? How long can I hold on to this hope till it gets too tiring?

Why won't you talk to me?