I dated a lot when I was younger, broke many hearts and in turn, had my heart shattered countless times. My love life was shown to the world on my blog because I didn't have anything to hide. I always thought I knew what I wanted and was adamant about it. I was childish and superficial, I fell in love at first sight a lot.

I was never worried about dating a lot because I took a class called Understanding Relationships as part of my Mass Comm modules in Year 2 and the lecturer, a professional relationship counsellor, told me it's okay to date a lot — the more you date, the clearer you'll be about who / what you're looking for in a relationship. I always had a way with relationships anyway, bouncing back each time I fall.

Not this time.

This time, I'm stumped. 

For the first time in my life, I met someone so genuine I'm, in fact, afraid of hurting. 我第一次遇见真心的男人。A definite gentleman coupled with a genuine and caring heart, he was kind with his words yet firm with his values. A gem in this age, as most noted, he's someone I never noticed at first glance and never thought I'd fancy because he's no looker.

For the first time, I actually want to keep him as a part of my private life, and actually kept him as a secret for the longest time. Not because I'm ashamed of him but because I actually respected his privacy more than my love of sharing my life on social media.

A man with big dreams — and a doer at that too — he was willing to put himself through hardship to achieve his dreams. Resilient, he was a stellar example of walking the talk however difficult the path seemed. Admiring his courage, I thought I was brave enough to follow his path of chasing dreams. Call me impractical and irrational but I wanted to move hours away from where I was located just to be with him.

It sounds romantic in theory but the realist in us acknowledges the challenges that we aren't ready to face together. The call came. Then a few more. I was good to go, but not ready. It was obvious after a while that none of us was going to make the move.

I wasn't ready to take that to the next level because I know it's more infatuation than love. How can you be infatuated with someone who's not a looker? Well... I don't know him enough to declare I love him, yet I'm insanely attracted and intrigued by his naive demeanour; how can anyone stay so sincere, so real, so honest in this guarded world?

He ended up being the person who taught me, in his own quirky way, that love is about waiting. Waiting for the right time and being patient about waiting because for the right person is worth all the time you spent waiting. And I promise him, I'll continue waiting. Whether it is for him or not, I'll wait till I meet the right person and I'll not settle for anything less than what I deserve.