Hi sweeties! :3

I'm sorry that I haven't been updating regularly since the start of school but school has kept my pretty busy recently! To make up for my lack of posts, I've recently started answering Formspring questions again so yup, you guys can ask me anything there!

So, school has been great. In fact, everything is going well and I'm so thankful for everyone in my life right now. I feel so loved every single day and it's like, nobody can ever ruin it for me :D I love it when my plans go well, I love it when everything's okay and I especially love it when I'm happy for absolutely no reason at all ♥

Enough of me talking! Here are a few photos to entertain y'all!


The back of my class!

Photos taken during the day camp:













































Day four of the camp was the NoMADic Race which drained all of our energy. Even though we didn't win, our class started to become closer and bonded more, which in my opinion, is better than any prize we can ever have.























































Last Saturday, I went out with some of my classmates to catch the Hunger Games! And if you guy noticed, I've cut my hair short because my long hair had already reached my butt so it takes super long for it to dry and I don't have the time to dry it. I cut my hair on impulse. It was just like, "Ok my hair is too long and I think I should cut it." Before I know it, the hairdresser was already snipping off my hair. I miss my long hair and everyone says I look better with the long hair so I guess I'll grow it long again hahaha.
























I brought my camera to school on Monday and Wednesday for DNT and of course, we started to spam photos during the lunch break!












Domokun pluggy that Kuanwee gave me! :D













Met up with my bbgirl the other day and we had a heart-to-heart talk. ♥♥♥ She has always been there for me to talk to even though we don't always text or talk much because I'm always busy.















That's all! Till next time, X0X0.

What is my life for and what am I going to do with it?
I don't know and I'm afraid.

As time goes by, life has a way of rearranging itself. People enter your life, and inevitably, they leave as well. Things have a tendency to happen that can turn your world upside down. You'll come to realize eventually, that even though things are different, you are different as well.

When someone is some kinda normal friend to you, whatever they do, you can't really be bothered. But things change gradually once that person gets closer to you. Your mind would turn competitive. Jealousy would occur more often. Well, it proves that human beings are selfish. But if your friend feels that way towards you, that isn't a good friend. Because good pals would never try to harm you no matter how jealous they get.

Firstly, if you had an issue with me you should've talked to me. I have no qualms about you tweeting about it, but you really should've at least talked to me. What's so hard about that? Secondly, I know you hate thinking about it. Hey, you're not the only one. You're not the only one who'd rather forget everything and get away from it all. I know things have been like that for a long time but it still breaks my heart to think about all those memories. Maybe you've moved on and forgot all about us, but I know I haven't. I cry myself to sleep almost every night replaying all of our memories.

You didn't give me a choice. There was only acceptance for me. I have, in fact, accepted what had all happened, and put it behind me, but that doesn't mean that it no longer hurts. Well, I didn't and don't have to love the situation. It was, and will always be completely and utterly messed up.

I did my best, but I have my pride to hold on to.
Some broken things cannot be fixed, we all just gotta live with that.

In a blink of an eye, it's already March. Two moths have just passed by like this and I wonder how much time do I have left to revise all the topics for O levels...?

I haven't updated about my life for a terribly long time. Reason being, my life is absolutely boring! It's school school school and homework homework homework almost everyday. School ends at 3:30pm everyday for me and after, I still have remedial lessons. I have no life. Oh well, I guess that's the life of a secondary four student. DID YOU SEE THAT PUN COMING?! I CAUGHT YOU OFF GUARD, DIDN'T I? Ok, as you can see I've turned into a crazy person who talks to herself. Life has been rather smooth-sailing recently. Just a little bumps here and there. I hope it will stay like this for long.

Anyway, a little update on my life.I just bought a new camera, the Olympus E-PL1, but it's currently at my boy's place. I've tested it out and other than the camera lagging sometimes, I'm pretty satisfied with it! I can't wait to bring the camera for my camp!

Speaking of camp, I'll be away for day camp on the 5th and 6th of March and having overnight camp from 7 - 9 March. I'm actually pretty excited for the camp yet feeling kinda sad knowing that it's gonna be my last camp in Greendale :/. Throughout my past three years, I attended two camps, in sec2 and sec3 and I really enjoyed myself. So yea, to all those lower secondary students complaining about having to go to camp, I guarantee you that you'll have the time of your life there. Sometimes, it's not just about where you are, but who you are with.

Other than that, Glenn recently moved to the same block as me so we've been going to school together for a few days now. It's pretty nice to have someone accompanying you on the way to school, especially when the bus journey like freaking long! For those wondering, my boy's pretty cool about me going to school with another guy because, well, I quote him, "Glenn is my friend and at least he can take care of you so I won't mind." I still meet my boy in the morning to walk to school together anyway.

Gonna end here really abruptly because I need to use the toilet! I'll update again soon, with pictures from my new camera, once I'm back for camp! Stay tuned! X0X0

“If you can wish for anything, what would you want?"

For the longest time, my answer to this question had been simple yet completely impossible.

With no hesitation, my heart would shout, "I want my best friend back."

I wonder what you'll think if you hear this. Would you think I'm pathetic and stupid for clinging so tightly onto our past friendship? I guess I am. Kinda. But doesn't that prove how much you meant to me? I keep saying this, but it's true. I never realized how I loved myself and the world when I was with you. The girl in the mirror had a brighter smile, a goofy grin, and a loud, echoing laugh. She was happy, and I can see it in her skin and eyes. Even though I am content with my current life, I can't beat back the sudden waves of nostalgia and hidden sadness.

Is that what life is about? All these people who come in and out of your life. Some you want to keep forever but can't for so many complicated reasons. All these people you adore and cherish slipping away from you. You have to learn to move on? You have to learn to live without them? How are you supposed to do that? How are you supposed to reduce someone who meant the world to you into some bland memory that you'll recall when you have nothing better to do? I don't want that to happen. Even though it hurts and I cry when I think of you, I don't want to destroy the powerful emotions associated with you to disappear. I don't want you to completely walk out of my life. Even if we are far apart from another, emotionally and physically, I want to hold onto our memories together. Maybe as a selfish proof that we once existed.

I fell in love with my best friend. That's the best thing that has ever happened to me.



We met all the way back when we were both in the same class in secondary one. I really cannot remember how did we started talking. He said it was because we were in the same group for some group work but I don't remember anything like that at all. But I remember we got along pretty well and I often confided in him.

Moving on my secondary two, we were still in the same class but we talked lesser as he had a girlfriend and I had a boyfriend at that time. We would still text each other occasionally, but no longer on a daily basis. At the ending of secondary two, we became really close again, all the way into our secondary three year, where we became together. We were more than best friends but less than a couple for like a month plus or so, I didn't blog about how we got together because our relationship/friendship was really rocky back then and I only wanted to blog if something comes out of it but I got lazy like always :S.

It was the third day of the Lunar New Year and a day before his birthday. We planned to go kite flying together, with a few of our mutual friends. I don't recall much of what happened that day except that we spent lots of time together. I remember us laying on the mat, watching the clouds and talking about anything under the sun. I miss that so much.

Anyway, at night, he gave me money and told me to cab back home as he was worried about me. It was a small, but sweet gesture. After we went separate ways, he went home and I went off with my best friends back then, he texted me and asked if I liked him or not. I kept putting him off because I didn't want to jeopardize that friendship that we had but he persisted and finally, at 12midnight on his birthday, I confessed that I liked him as well. So, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I agreed. This is the part where it gets really complicated.

I guess I was really hurt and scarred from my previous relationship. Up to that point, I still believed that nobody would truly love me because of my bitchfits. I wasn't confident at all that this would work out, and again, the risk of losing our friendship in the process was just too big and I know deep down that I would never ever want to lose him.

That night of his birthday, we agreed on just being best friends. So this is the part where we became more than best friends but less than a couple. During school hours, in between classes, we would always meet outside the toilet to exchange letters. Subsequently, our first hug and first kiss took place there as well.

Somewhere around mid-March, we went out together, just the both of us, for the first time and it was also during that weekend that he listed me as his wife on Facebook. Sidetrack a bit: He actually listed me as his wife instead of his girlfriend because we have this small soft toy keychain that we shared (it was actually his but he gave it to me during secondary two because I shamelessly begged for it).

He was the daddy and I was the mommy and we actually created a Facebook account for her! Back to the story. Because Facebook had this place where we could fill in our anniversary. I asked him what date should I put, and he said anything so I just left it as 14 Febuary 2011 since I like the number 14, hahaha! From then on, we celebrated all our monthsary on the 14th. And yes, it means that we've just passed the 1st year mark this Valentine's Day!



Meeting someone like ZhengLei was a miracle. He was always there for me to confide in. Sometimes I feel as though he's my guardian angel. I'm not even peeved as I normally would be cause I typed something as cliched as that. Now that's something. Another cliche thing I'm about to mention is that he teaches me how to let go, to be patient, to be humble, to have faith, and mostly, to love myself. This part's in present tense, because he never stops trying. I never thought I'd find anyone like that, in my life, ever. Now I feel truly blessed.

At least one part of my life's so much more bearable. It's always great to feel like you're not alone anymore.