"He's going to move on someday. When you let go of him, you have to be okay with it. It sucks, but it will happen. It may be anytime in the future but it won't be today, and when that day comes, we'll face it together. I promise you." — 13 days after we broke up, I saw the reality of things and started bracing myself.

I only wanted to post this when I'm completely sure that I've moved on from our relationship and let go of him because I knew I couldn't stand the thought of him being with another. Several litmus tests and almost six months later, I know the time arrived. :)

-

(written February 2016)

To the future girlfriend of the guy who once was the love of my life,

I dated a lot when I was younger, broke many hearts and in turn, had my heart shattered countless times. My love life was shown to the world on my blog because I didn't have anything to hide. I always thought I knew what I wanted and was adamant about it. I was childish and superficial, I fell in love at first sight a lot.

I was never worried about dating a lot because I took a class called Understanding Relationships as part of my Mass Comm modules in Year 2 and the lecturer, a professional relationship counsellor, told me it's okay to date a lot — the more you date, the clearer you'll be about who / what you're looking for in a relationship. I always had a way with relationships anyway, bouncing back each time I fall.

Not this time.

This time, I'm stumped. 

For the first time in my life, I met someone so genuine I'm, in fact, afraid of hurting. 我第一次遇见真心的男人。A definite gentleman coupled with a genuine and caring heart, he was kind with his words yet firm with his values. A gem in this age, as most noted, he's someone I never noticed at first glance and never thought I'd fancy because he's no looker.

For the first time, I actually want to keep him as a part of my private life, and actually kept him as a secret for the longest time. Not because I'm ashamed of him but because I actually respected his privacy more than my love of sharing my life on social media.

A man with big dreams — and a doer at that too — he was willing to put himself through hardship to achieve his dreams. Resilient, he was a stellar example of walking the talk however difficult the path seemed. Admiring his courage, I thought I was brave enough to follow his path of chasing dreams. Call me impractical and irrational but I wanted to move hours away from where I was located just to be with him.

It sounds romantic in theory but the realist in us acknowledges the challenges that we aren't ready to face together. The call came. Then a few more. I was good to go, but not ready. It was obvious after a while that none of us was going to make the move.

I wasn't ready to take that to the next level because I know it's more infatuation than love. How can you be infatuated with someone who's not a looker? Well... I don't know him enough to declare I love him, yet I'm insanely attracted and intrigued by his naive demeanour; how can anyone stay so sincere, so real, so honest in this guarded world?

He ended up being the person who taught me, in his own quirky way, that love is about waiting. Waiting for the right time and being patient about waiting because for the right person is worth all the time you spent waiting. And I promise him, I'll continue waiting. Whether it is for him or not, I'll wait till I meet the right person and I'll not settle for anything less than what I deserve.

As mentioned in my previous post, I travelled a fair bit after I ended my internship with Singapore Airlines and caught the travel bug! This is the day one of my first travel where I visited White Waterworld. I travelled to Gold Coast, Queensland, Asutralia via Scoot and there are two things I need to share with y'all.

1) Book your flight tickets ONLY when there's a promotion. Scoot is always having promotions so it doesn't matter if you wait a little longer — the price of your tickets won't go up much anyway. Comparing promotions to early bird flight tickets, the former is still more worth the while.
2) Getting FlyBagEat is a given — you should check in your luggage and pre-book your meal when it's a relatively long flight (a little more than 7 hours). But more than that, spend a little more to choose your seats and if budget permits, opt for more leg room! Trust me, you'll feel the difference. You don't want to be cramped as hell and claustrophobic on your flight there. After all, your holiday should be an enjoyable period.

I got my pair of return tickets for about $600 with FlyBagEat but I could have gotten it cheaper had I waited a little — there was a one for one promotion a week after I booked my tickets. Also, for reference, I brought AUD$800 there during the period when the exchange rate between Aussie dollars and Sing dollars was one to one.

leaving it all behind for a week. hello Gold Coast ☺️✈️💞

A photo posted by Regine 🌻 (@pekyj) on Feb 23, 2016 at 5:53am PST

I wrote my previous post on my 20th birthday, slightly more than 6 months ago, but for some reason didn't publish till months later. Six months later, a great deal of significant events have happened since I turned 20.

this is a modern fairytale; no happy endings, no wind in our sails ⛓

A photo posted by Regine 🌻 (@pekyj) on Mar 15, 2016 at 4:48am PDT

I broke up with my long-term (now ex-)boyfriend in mid January, dated a little and ended them as abruptly as they started, travelled quite a fair bit (and I should be getting those blog posts up soon hahahaha wtf), got my first full-time job in April, graduated in May and just came back from my first work trip.

(Written 2 January 2016)


When I was younger, I thought by the time I turn 20 surely I would have gotten my shit together (i.e. have a stable job, got married). Today, I turn 20 and well, let's just say that the 10-year-old me would be severely disappointed. I don't know what universe I lived in but my maths must have been nowhere near excellent. Even after taking the fastest generally-held route out there, I'm only on the brink of graduation.

Stable job? Ha. The most terrifying item on my to do list now is job hunting and let's not talk about getting married. This is Singapore we're speaking of, one of the most expensive cities to live in. For the life of me, I cannot fathom why I thought it was possible to get married by 20. Sure, shotgun marriages maybe but I'm not into that.

Thus, I learned my first lesson in my twenties. The difference between turning 10 and 20 is that reality check. You exchange your dreams for something more realistic, something less fun but earns you enough to keep your family going. You find yourself saying the kind of things you thought would only come out of your parents' mouth.

A tiny part of me haven't given up on my childhood dreams either. Just like a flame waiting to be rekindled. When I was 10, I wanted to be an author but let's be real here - how many Mr Midnights and True Singapore Ghost Stories can we have here? As far as I'm concerned, this blog is an outlet for me to visit my childhood dream once in a while and that's enough for me.

Growing up, it has been drilled into me that I have zero basic artistic talent, so much that I decided to take D&T instead of Art for my O Levels despite having taken a liking to art. Entering poly, I chose Mass Comm over a media design course because I had no confidence in my art sense. I never once thought I'd be talented in designing but surprise! After ten years of getting below average grades for Art, suddenly I'm told that I do possess a sense of art - I just can't draw. Thank god for the invention of computers.

Never underestimate the wonders of technology. Years ago, I would have never imagined myself in this position. Because of the bloom of Internet and social media, I found my calling and I'm living my childhood dreams both at once. I'm more than thankful to be born in this generation.

If I had a chance to speak to my 10-year-old self, I would tell her to continue blogging because one day, this once useless blog will actually aid me with what I majored in. While adults are stumped by the rapid advancement of the Internet and social media, I've been part of the growth and given the chance to work with amazing companies.

I would let her know that it's okay to dream big but 平凡也是一种幸福 (simplicity is a sort of happiness as well). I still don't go into a luxury store pointing to things I want with my perfectly manicured nails. Heck, I haven't been painting my nails and they've been breaking off often since I started on Invisalign. But I'm still happy, and I'm always working on making my life better.

I would remind her to keep her feet grounded. Never stop working hard - there's always someone better no matter how good I think I am. And that's okay too, because I don't wish to compare myself to anyone else. I just need to be the best version of myself.

I'd remind her to save up for more travel adventures. The world is a huge place and there is nothing more outrageous than staying stagnant in one spot. The thought of that alone frightens me. Travelling opens my eyes and humbles me; it's the best gift I can ever get for myself.

感覺有雙翅膀，能飛越高山和海洋 • missing Hong Kong, can't wait to be back 🇭🇰 #flySQ #singaporeairlines

A post shared by Yi Tsing 怡靜 (@pekyj) on Aug 14, 2016 at 4:18am PDT

Here's to another decade of living, loving, experiencing and exploring.

“你是来台湾玩吗？”
“不是。”
“那就来读书对吧？”
“我是出差啦。”
“最好是啦。”
“真的...”
“我才不信勒。”

一副孩子脸难怪在台湾被问时，没人相信我是 on a work trip 哈哈哈。一转眼三个礼拜就这样过了，我也已收拾下心情，到新的办公室开始工作了。虽然那时很想念家人朋友们，但因为在个陌生的地方，我会了独立，开始享受自己有的自由，也已经爱上台湾，可爱的同事，和便宜的酒（呵呵）。

感谢台湾还有同事们的招待，为我带来那么多美好的回忆，也让我明白了为自己坚强的利益。如果他总为别人撑伞，我何苦非为他等在雨中？这辈子只为自己而活，不再为不值得的人眼红落泪。爱我的人这么多，何必折磨自己呢？